Onward upward

There are many things in life that we wish we could change. The truth is no one wants to experience despair, pain, selfishness or any of the bad things that happen to good people. I'm a firm believer that God (or whatever you call your higher power) doesn't give us more than we can bear. I'm also a firm believer that some of us (myself included) can and probably will always bear a great deal more burdens. Why is a question I can't answer. Because I can, is one answer that comes to mind. Because I'm not someone who will break and give up and quit.

Just as I have a friend whose soft-spoken voice and calm nurturing demeanor is an inspiration to me as a mother perhaps my own struggles will serve as an inspiration to someone else. I don't ever ask myself if I can do something, but I often worry about the how. Somehow though it always seems to work out one way or another. Folks that's called faith and elbow grease and that's how I get things done.

Everything in my life has been an experience from which I gained knowledge. These experiences good and bad are invaluable lessons to us in continuing our journey. Giving up one of those trials means losing a little piece of the perspective I have now and that's not a choice.

Best of luck to you on your journey and may it bring you much wisdom.

Genuine Imitation

Consider this a brief introduction to the life we have that we don't talk about. You ever have someone say to you, "I know how you must feel." Really? I kinda doubt it because if you did we could carry on a conversation about it but instead you pretend. I hope you never know. I hope no one really ever has to deal with the drama that seems to be daily life for me, but thanks for the sentiment anyway. My best friend says, "I don't know how you don't have an ulcer," but really I think you can't get an ulcer if you stress eat because your stomach's always full.


Let's elaborate on these rantings. I am a single mom with a less than stellar ex-husband (POS-you can figure it out) who in my professional and biased opinion is an undiagnosed bi-polar. I never really know when he may go off on a tangent about something really stupid or be fantastically agreeable (never happens). He is wonderfully well behaved in public for the most part (which leans more toward sociopath than bipolar) but behind the scenes does everything in his power to make my life a living hell. In reality and with much reluctance I can admit that while we were married he was verbally and emotionally abusive. It pains me a GREAT deal to admit that because I consider myself such a strong person. But alas this is still the deep south and some of us were and still are taught that there are certain things in life that will be our burden to bear no matter how difficult that burden may be. We all have our breaking points and this is the result of mine.


Now you might say, who is this bitter crazy ex-wife? I'm a woman who lost her house in a foreclosure because she couldn't refinance or sell the house without POS's signature or a quitclaim, which of course he refused to provide. I am the mother of a child whose baseball gear is held hostage because "I paid for it." I am a co-parent if you will, with a moron who wants a written copy of the "doctor's orders" for an allergic rash  requiring over the counter Benadryl and hydrocortisone cream for my child. I am a woman who worked three jobs for two years because POS paid no child support and it took that long to get the court order to garnish wages. Forgive me if I appear unhinged at times.


Let us begin the journey...